Sharp Things Are Sharp.

I cut off the tip of my finger on Sunday. It was terrifyingly awful and I didn’t know what to do. I put it under water, then thought maybe that would make me bleed to death, so squeezed a paper towel over it and fled outside to my skipping husband, like a 4 year old child going “I cut my finger!!!!”

He made me show him, and I couldn’t stop looking, and it just kept bleeding and bleeding and then I got the cold sweats and shakes and felt like I was gonna throw up, or pass out, or do both at the same time. It’s just the tiniest of wounds, I swear. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think that because it didn’t hurt and because there was lots of bleeding, I just couldn’t handle it. I am not good with blood, and haven’t been since I had babies…but I never thought my own blood scared me.

We had no plasters, so he had to go and buy some. In the meantime, Aleeya did not pay me any mind at all thank you very much, and Siobhan came racing out of her room to rub my back and promise me I wasn’t going to die. She is such an awesome caretaker! She brought me water and talked me through it and I was all “I’m such a BABYYYYYY!” I am.

Ollie came back and wouldn’t let me look at it while he pulled the paper towel away, but I had to look! And then he gave me a plaster in the shape of a wizard’s hat which hurt a lot to have put on, and they both giggled at my whimpering.

Afterwards, he salvaged the piece of flesh from the pile of cabbage I had been unsuccessfully trying to turn into coleslaw, and came out with it on his fingertip gleefully showing me. Siobhan was all “OMG! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!” And I turned green and almost cried. He said “and you call yourself a zombie fan.” The shame in his voice was crippling!

I think I should change the plaster, but he says it should be okay for another day or two…and I’m willing to let him be right, because I am nervous about looking at it! It’s ridiculous and I understand the ridiculousness of it, but omg! I can’t help it! Typing is hard, everything is difficult, although it doesn’t hurt unless direct pressure is applied, and I am being very careful about not doing that. I banged it yesterday and saw stars.

The worst part is…it wasn’t even my day to cook! I was just being helpful!

Anyway, it’s now Wednesday and so I decided that I needed to be brave and take the plaster off, which I did. I had to be very careful with more sharp things and cut it away. I did this with much braveness all by myself alone in the bathroom. I may have whimpered a lot, but that’s only because it was stuck to the wounded bit! Oh the inhumanity!

I soaked it under cold water and carefully, carefully peeled it off, to reveal a white and wrinkly fingertip underneath. It really is not the prettiest thing in the world. I can see now that I also shaved off part of my fingernail. With much sucking in of breath and steeling myself with words of encouragement, I managed to put a little antiseptic cream on it and have just left it out in the open for the day. I might have also taken pictures.

Good lord internet! Why on earth would anyone cut the tip of their own fingers off? It’s so revolting! It looks hideous, typing is a massive chore, and I feel very sorry for myself. I wonder if my finger will round out or heal with a dent? 🙁

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