Category Archives: kids


I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to figure out what exactly beautiful means. I’ve decided that there’s not really any definition at all, but that has never stopped me from trying to figure out what beautiful means to me. And then I had daughters.

Two of the most incredibly beautiful creatures, and so completely different to one another.

They taught me that beauty is something that doesn’t depend on any one thing. It’s an all encompassing whole person thing. My daughters are so beautiful, it’s ridiculous. It shouldn’t be allowed, to be honest. But I’m so glad it is, because without them, my life wouldn’t be as awesome as it is. I don’t know if they even realise that. I’m bad at talking, so this return to blogging has also been for them.

When you become a parent, I’m not sure that you ever expect the sudden onslaught of parental guilt that pretty much hits you from day one. This new beautiful life in your hands, so perfect, and sweet smelling and new. How can you keep it happy, and healthy and nurture it into a good person? How can you instill all the values you need to? How will you know if you’ve been a good parent? Are they going to hate you when they’re teenagers? Where are you going to go wrong.

You’re not going to go wrong.

Even when you do, so long as you have love for that child, and are honest with them? You’re not going to go wrong.

Take it from a woman with borderline personality disorder and bipolar II. Those girls of mine have had to deal with a lot of emotional weirdness while I’ve tried to find a medication that works, and a way to deal with things when the medication still doesn’t. Sometimes we’d go for drives – when I learned, and we’d talk in the car about the big important things.

I was always amazed at how insightful and thoughtful my girls were about the way that people are. Every time I bought up a big topic, they always had good questions. Deep questions…they still do. Except about sex. Because…I have no filter I suppose. Not that talking about sex with your parents is fun at all – for anyone but me. Call it sadism, but the pleasure I get from watching them and their father squirm is totally worth it! Haha!! (I promise I’ve only ever talked about the good stuff – safety, pleasure, respect, love and permission). I studied sexuality in both religion and literature, human sexuality really interests me.

My girls are teens now. Well, actually…Siobhan will turn 20 this year, and Aleeya will be 18. Adults. I am now the parent of adult children…and while that scares the pants off me, I’m so proud of them. They’re both such beautifully, intelligent and thoughtful girls. And I know how scary becoming an adult is. I may get frustrated a lot – mostly that’s my illness talking though – I remember what this time in your life feels like.

It’s scary, and hard, and learning to make your own decisions will change your life path forever. In ways you won’t understand, or even consider, and they will be wonderful. I do not look back on my life and regret any of it. Every choice I made, lead me right here. I never would have predicted I would live a life like this. And I owe so much of it to those girls. Such beautiful, compassionate, loving creatures. I am always awed that you’re mine. <3


I’m writing this now because in two days time we will be on our way to Australia and I wanted to make sure I wrote this down before then. We’re moving into a motel today and I doubt I’ll have access to wifi.

My baby is about to turn 14 years old. I honestly don’t know where the time went. I still remember the first time I held her in my arms, after a whole four hour labour. Aleeya was born in a birthing house here in Christchurch on the 19th of December. I went into labour at 4am and we had to race across the city. Luckily there was very little traffic around at that time of the morning.

I had a water birth, and had to stop pushing after her head emerged because she had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck twice. She is lucky that they were able to remove it without hurting her, and I am lucky to have been able to hold my second daughter in my arms not long afterwards.

She was born facing the wrong way and my hip bones squashed her poor little face. She was bruised and swollen and had this adorable pink little face and the darkest blue eyes. She was silent for the whole 24 hours we were at the house. It wasn’t until we got her home that she really showed us what an amazing pair of lungs she had, and she never stopped!

Aleeya is one of those amazing people who observes the world first and acts later. She has always been far too intelligent for her own good, and was never happy unless she was active and awake and able to do things.

When I look back on my own childhood and remember myself at her age, I’m always really blown away. She reminds me of me in so many ways – stubborn, argumentative, cheeky and sarcastic but in other ways she’s totally different. She definitely has far more sense in her head than I did. She’s confident and beautiful and stylish and knows who she is. Aleeya always had amazing style. She started dressing herself when she was about two. And unlike most children, she didn’t just throw on anything and everything – she matched her clothing beautifully. I’m not sure even I could have picked the clothing that she did.

She’s sensitive and artistic and so funny! Her sense of humour is amazing and best of all, she’s not totally bored and annoyed with us yet. Hanging out with us isn’t a chore (most of the time).

I always remember my mum laughing and telling me that I was in for twice what I put her through. I’m still waiting! haha!

I’m very blessed to have these kids in my life. They have made me a better person, and their ability to be such incredibly tolerant, brave, beautiful individuals is an inspiration. She’s so forgiving and kind, I couldn’t have ever hoped to have spent my life with better people. I love the young woman she’s growing into. Even if she won’t let me bite her bum anymore!

Happy fourteenth birthday my wee baby girl. You’re an amazing girl and I love you more than you love me! Like, way! Don’t ever change, I’m so proud of you for always making the right decisions and for never letting us down. You always choose the brave route and I’m inspired by your strength every damn day.

Love you! OMNOMNOMZ! xoxoxo

Sharp Things Are Sharp.

I cut off the tip of my finger on Sunday. It was terrifyingly awful and I didn’t know what to do. I put it under water, then thought maybe that would make me bleed to death, so squeezed a paper towel over it and fled outside to my skipping husband, like a 4 year old child going “I cut my finger!!!!”

He made me show him, and I couldn’t stop looking, and it just kept bleeding and bleeding and then I got the cold sweats and shakes and felt like I was gonna throw up, or pass out, or do both at the same time. It’s just the tiniest of wounds, I swear. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think that because it didn’t hurt and because there was lots of bleeding, I just couldn’t handle it. I am not good with blood, and haven’t been since I had babies…but I never thought my own blood scared me.

We had no plasters, so he had to go and buy some. In the meantime, Aleeya did not pay me any mind at all thank you very much, and Siobhan came racing out of her room to rub my back and promise me I wasn’t going to die. She is such an awesome caretaker! She brought me water and talked me through it and I was all “I’m such a BABYYYYYY!” I am.

Ollie came back and wouldn’t let me look at it while he pulled the paper towel away, but I had to look! And then he gave me a plaster in the shape of a wizard’s hat which hurt a lot to have put on, and they both giggled at my whimpering.

Afterwards, he salvaged the piece of flesh from the pile of cabbage I had been unsuccessfully trying to turn into coleslaw, and came out with it on his fingertip gleefully showing me. Siobhan was all “OMG! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!” And I turned green and almost cried. He said “and you call yourself a zombie fan.” The shame in his voice was crippling!

I think I should change the plaster, but he says it should be okay for another day or two…and I’m willing to let him be right, because I am nervous about looking at it! It’s ridiculous and I understand the ridiculousness of it, but omg! I can’t help it! Typing is hard, everything is difficult, although it doesn’t hurt unless direct pressure is applied, and I am being very careful about not doing that. I banged it yesterday and saw stars.

The worst part is…it wasn’t even my day to cook! I was just being helpful!

Anyway, it’s now Wednesday and so I decided that I needed to be brave and take the plaster off, which I did. I had to be very careful with more sharp things and cut it away. I did this with much braveness all by myself alone in the bathroom. I may have whimpered a lot, but that’s only because it was stuck to the wounded bit! Oh the inhumanity!

I soaked it under cold water and carefully, carefully peeled it off, to reveal a white and wrinkly fingertip underneath. It really is not the prettiest thing in the world. I can see now that I also shaved off part of my fingernail. With much sucking in of breath and steeling myself with words of encouragement, I managed to put a little antiseptic cream on it and have just left it out in the open for the day. I might have also taken pictures.

Good lord internet! Why on earth would anyone cut the tip of their own fingers off? It’s so revolting! It looks hideous, typing is a massive chore, and I feel very sorry for myself. I wonder if my finger will round out or heal with a dent? 🙁

so camp darling!

Happy New Year! 2011. So far, I’m really kind of enjoying it. For the most part anyway.

We went camping on the weekend. It was supposed to be a two day trip to Hanmer Springs Thermal pool resort. Here’s how it went down.

We arrived at the camp site around 2pm to the most stiflingly hot and windy day imaginable. We were sprawled on the ground going “OMG THE HOT!” Ollie, the poor thing pretty much put up the tents singlehandedly. He struggled a lot with the stupid pegs and the stupider rock hard ground. When they were up, we stood back and watched in horror as gale force winds blew them almost horizontally with the ground. They stayed up amazingly.

We sprawled out inside them for awhile, Ollie and Aleeya played frisbee and wandered down to the other end to the playground which was apparently quite cool. Siobhan and I stayed in the tent and listened to music and talked. Then Ollie and I drove into Hanmer and ordered the BEST Indian food I’ve ever had. And he took Aleeya to the hot pools for an hour afterwards while Siobhan and I listened to more music and talked. It was far too windy to toast marshmellows, so we played cards, then played one word games. The second of which had me laughing so much I was crying.

It finally got dark and I took the girls to the bathroom. On the way, there were MASSIVE bugs on the ground. Massive flying bugs, which I found thoroughly interesting and the girls did not. They were no shit, as long as my pinky finger, but as fat as my thumb and had what looked like really hard wings. On coming home, we used the powerz of Google to look them up and found out they were Huhu Beetles! There was one in the toilet as well which Aleeya and I watched kamikaze itself in the shower. A girl came out and was most concerned that we didn’t like it, scooped it up and threw it out. Really, we were just waiting for Siobhan.

On the return back to the tent, one of these bugs…they were EVERYWHERE, found its way onto my shirt without my knowing it. So we’re in the tent and I’m explaining them to Ollie and I feel something on my arm, look down and OHAI MR BUG! The girls freak and I’m like “It’s okay! It’s fine! Plz get it off me.” To which Ollie does. He curls it up in his hand and he’s all “see? It’s fine. I have it. IT IS BITING ME OH MY GOD FUCK IT’S BITING ME!!!!!!!” And he threw it across the tent….at Aleeya.

He did. She is SCREAMING and I’m going “WHAR IZ IT?!” And he gets it and finally tosses it out of the tent and I take a look at his thumb and he is BLEEDING. BLEEDING interwebz. Not just under the skin…it broke his skin and he is BLEEDING! We’re all three of us girls sitting there dumbfounded and terrified by these killar massive bugs from hell and the entire tent mood is completely sombre. “This isn’t fun.” Siobhan pouts, and I’m kind of in agreement. It’s time for bed though, and both girls are meant to be in the other tent. He takes them in there and I’m like “do you really think that’s a good idea? Ask them if they want to swap.” So he does, and I end up with Siobhan in my tent. I’m like “just so you know, I’m not the brave one. You’re no safer with me.” But I don’t think she really cares.

So I put on headphones and listen to music while the wind howls around us, because every noise sounds like someone trying to get into the tent and I am REALLY paranoid about night and wind and not being able to hear anything over said wind, don’t fret though, I had it on very low, and I made sure she knew I could still hear her if she needed me, which thankfully she didn’t, because I meant it when I said she wasn’t any safer with me. I’m about as brave as jelly. And eventually I turn my music off and drift in and out of sleep. A sleep plagued by nightmares, where my husband is covered in SUPERMASSIVE BUGS and I’m terrified!

In the morning, the birds are SO loud that it sounds like they’ve all converged on the ground outside the tent, which I truly believe they did until other campers started getting up and moving about. Everyone is exhausted, except Aleeya who apparently slept fine. Ollie didn’t sleep at all, Siobhan has her period, the poor girl and I’m trying to be into this, because I know how much it meant to him and how much he wanted us to like it.

We were supposed to go on walks and spend all our free time in the hot pools, but it’s SO hot and so damn windy and no one has slept that all we do is lay around going “murrrrr.” At 11am I get us up and to the pools and it was really lovely for everyone except Siobhan. Afterwards, we got some lunch, which was just as lovely and go back to the campsite, with the intent of going on a short hour or so walk, heading back to play some mini golf and then to decide if we’re going to stay another night.

We get back there, and what really happens is the heat exhausts us further and we decide to just pack up and go. Which we do. The wind almost blew the tents away while we’re wrestling them to the ground and we leave. Half way home Ollie almost passes out with exhaustion and I do something I’ve never done before. I offer to drive the rest of the way. Which I successfully do without panicking once.

Give me a cabin any day!! 😉

I Think I’m Paranoid.

I don’t know what’s got into me lately, but I have this awful paranoia about everything lately. I think, a large part of it stems from the car break in, but mostly, it comes from personal experience, and the stories of friends.  Siobhan rang me from school today. This child, is the most trustworthy, smart, beautiful creature you’ve ever laid eyes on. To have her call me from school, is to put it lightly, extremely out of character. “Mum!” she says. “The teacher got the days wrong, and we actually have the wearable arts practice today from 4 until 6pm. So if you can come and pick me up then that would be good!”  I’m all “oh! Well. Sure. That’s okay.” We discuss Aleeya and Siobhan offers to walk her home, to which I tell her that Aleeya will be fine. She needs to get used to walking alone, and while she’s my baby and I don’t much like the thought of it, Siobhan was walking home alone at 6 – at that stage, to be fair, we only lived five houses away.  But still.  It’s a ten minute walk, it’s fine.

Aleeya gets home on time, and goes off to do whatever it is she gets up to, which usually involves scissors, lots of paper, and every piece of available crafting paper she can find. She showed me a card she made yesterday, it was astoundingly gorgeous. I was very impressed, and she was super proud.  And then, we bundled ourselves up nice and warm, because 6pm is pretty dark and cold, and wandered off down to the school.

We get there, and everything is dark. There are no people anywhere…my child is no where to be seen. We walked through the school, went into the office, and the woman behind the desk said “Oh, I don’t know.” When I asked her about the kids who’d gone off with this teacher.  Okay good. That’s a good thing to say to a parent. “I don’t know where your child is! Sorry! But you can wait in here if you like.”  Uhm. No. I do not like.  So we went out again, and wandered around, and saw some kids. “Are you looking for the Guides?”  They ask, very helpfully. Erm. No…No one is around.  Fifteen minutes later, no one is around, and there are no other parents.  There are nine kids on this trip, where the hell are the parents? You can imagine, that by this stage, I’m starting to panic a little.  Then I think, we’re sort of on the way home…maybe, the teacher dropped her off.

I don’t have a cellphone right now, and neither does Siobhan. Ollie’s put my simcard in his, but it has no money on it, and I have no one’s numbers anyway, so it’s of absolutely no use. I have no way to contact my 12 year old daughter.  So we start heading towards home, and turning around whenever it looks like a car is heading into the school.  We walked up and down the street twice. Aleeya ran into the carpark twice and came back with nothing.  It’s 6.30pm and any semblance of self control that I have, is slowly beginning to leak into sheer and utter panic.  Then we see another car.

We headed back for the third time, and Aleeya ran up to see if it was her sister.  This was.  She comes walking down with another girl and she’s all “see ya!”  And I’m so relieved, and SO terrified that I exploded in anger. I’m yelling at her, and telling her how we just spent the last 30 minutes terrified because we didn’t know where she was. And I’m stalking off silent, because I can’t think straight, and Ollie turns up in the car.  We get in, and he goes “what happened?”  And I burst into a fit of tears and just hollared about how she said 6pm, and NO other parents were around and I thought something terrible had happened to her.

We got home and the poor wee soul disappears into her room. I’d been so mad that I’d told her she wasn’t going to any more of those things. She’s the model, she -has- to go.  It seemed right in my angryrelieved mind at the time.  And I’m still crying, and I know I’m stupid and wrong, so I go off to find her and sit beside her on her bed, and she goes “I’m sorry!”  And I went “No, I’M sorry! I was so scared, and I should never have gotten angry at you like that” And we just sort of cuddled and snerveled and comforted each other, and afterwards, she was perfectly content and fine, and I’m writing this, still misty eyed over it all.  God, internet.  I really thought something terrible had happened. That all the kids parents had been and gone and that she’d been taken by someone.

I kept thinking, how the hell will I survive when she goes out with her friends?  I’m usually the okay one.  It’s Ollie who panicks.  But no..this time it was me. I kept telling her that I didn’t know what I’d do if I lost her. And I really don’t. Just the mere thought of it is crippling.  It’s like, when she was finally there in front of me, I’d been punched in the stomach. I couldn’t think rationally. I wasn’t “OMG YOU’RE OKAY!”  I was “YOU SAID SIX O’CLOCK! YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO ONE OF THOSE AGAIN!”  What happens, I wonder…in your brain to make you have that reaction. I don’t know, but I really hope I don’t feel it again. Tomorrow she’s going out to a Guide’s friend’s night with a friend, and then Wednesday she has another rehearsal for this show they’re doing. It’s not that I don’t trust her at all, I definitely do, she’s the kid I know will always do what I tell her to, even though lately it’s getting a little whiny and recalcitrant. She has a good head on her shoulders, but she’s still just a child, and she would be so easily overcome. You know? I just felt so incredibly helpless.  And you know what? It really didn’t help that I couldn’t call or text her.

I never thought I’d be the sort of person to miss a cellphone, but man, I really, really do.

It’s Like, So High School.

Today was the day we had to go and meet a senior member of staff at the high school Siobhan and Aleeya want to go to. I’ve been a little dubious of this. We already know that I trained as a high school teacher and then, just like me, decided I didn’t want to be one. I actually know some really lovely teachers, but ever since I went to high school, I’ve had an issue with them. I was not the child my children are – far from it! And I did not particularly like school.  I vaguely recall having a meeting actually, with my mum, and I guess that must have been what this meeting was.

Ollie wasn’t going to come, since it was at 5pm, but then he decided he would, which was really awesome, considering at 4pm today the power just died!  I was sitting here, just about to start to reply to a post and BAM! Everything went black. It was scary. Then our alarm, which isn’t an alarm, because it was the previous owners alarm, and we never had it reinstalled or whatever it is you do with alarms started beeping at me. I’m like WTF? How does it have power? So I pushed a button and dear lord, internet…the noise was horrendous! I could NOT shut it up. I have no idea what the code is, or why it was even making noise at all and it was screaming and I totally panicked and called Ollie. On my cellphone, because the power was out…and the phone is a cordless thing which, you guessed it, runs on power.  “OH MY GOD!” I wailed at him. “What do I doooo?”  He tried to calmly explain it to me, and that didn’t work, and then I finally just mashed a whole lot of keys and it shut up.

Anyway, there was still no power for ages. He rung the power company and they said there were no outages in our area, so we figured, it must have been a fuse.  Don’t look at me when it comes to fuses.  I don’t even know what a fuse is. I did dutifully look at the fuse box, with perplexion and annoyance, but that didn’t work. So I lit a fire and mourned the loss of internet, and hoped to hell that my computer didn’t die in the power failage.  And then, just like magic, the power turned back on!  I knew this, because my computer flashed, bless him…and then the fridge made noise and I may have done a dance of rejoice when I tried the power button and my computer burst forth into life again.

That was utterly beside the point. I was going to tell you about this meeting!  How did I get so far off topic? Oh right, Ollie coming home early.  So he got home and I didn’t need his help anyway. I did consider for a moment telling him I replaced the fuse myself, because wouldn’t THAT have shocked him.  Instead, I told him the truth, and we were perplexed together.

Anyway!!! We ended up with the assistant principal, who was about 8 foot tall and had the coolest top on. Seriously, I wanted it so bad. It had thumb holes.  I’m easily satisfied, alright? She was really lovely and spent her time making Siobhan feel comfortable.  Which she did. She was great internet.  Really wonderful.  She talked about herself, and why she wanted to go to that school and not the other, and said amazing things that teachers want to hear like “English is my favourite subject!” To which Miss AP said “you said that because you know I’m an English teacher!”  And we knew we were given to the right woman.  “Why do you want to come to this school?” She asked, to which Siobhan replied “Well, one reason is you have more languages than the other school does, and I really, really REALLY want to learn German.” internet.  You’d have thought this woman just hit the jackpot.

She was totally impressed and excited.  We left with her telling us that she was -definitely- going to give her recommendation that Siobhan be accepted and that we should get an acceptance letter in August. She did say that it wasn’t up to her, but that we should feel very positive about her acceptance.  I was so thrilled I may have almost cried. I know how important it is for Siobhan to go to this school.  I mentioned things like her extension classes and her reading ability and that she is the child that the teachers sit with the Korean and difficult students because they know she’ll help them. I also mentioned that she tended to be shy and often slipped under the radar.  She assured me that they nurture students like Siobhan rather than letting them be the positive people in other people’s lives and that she would be encouraged to shine as herself. I liked her a lot actually. I felt very good about the entire interview, and I so hope that she will be accepted, because I have a feeling this school is going to be the place that sees both my kids turn into amazing adults.


Do I think my kids are heroes? Absolutely. I most definitely do. Shall I tell you why internet? Oh, you’re curious? Okay I will.  I shall start in birth order, because it’s always fair to do that, don’t you think? Also, I might be a little in love with my new theme.  It’s so perfectly me. Except the Gods are classical and not Indian, but I forgive them, because my interest in Classics is almost just as deep as my interest in India.

So let me tell you about Siobhan. She’s going to be 13 this year. You guys have been right there with me, on all her milestones. Well, on a lot of them.  Particularly during the last few years.  Siobhan is an amazing child. She’s one of those people who is tall and willowy and delicious, she has blondey hair and dark eyes. She has olivey complexion and those tiny little adorable freckles that just dust across her nose. She is, without a doubt, incredibly beautiful, and I truly don’t think she gets it – much like her father. She’s quiet and studious and really loves people and animals. She’s incredibly kind. I don’t know where she gets it from! But she is one of the most generous and giving people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.  I am so mad in love with her. She does anything I ask her to, and generally without a fuss. There are times when there is stomping and whining, but the majority of the time, she does it without questioning me. Siobhan takes care of me.  If I need anything, she’s right there to give it to me. Her goal in life, is to make sure that everyone around her – with the exception of Ollie and Aleeya – is happy.

She picks up languages without a second thought. She is the child that the teachers always put next to difficult kids, or the Korean students, because they know that she will look after them.  It worries me sometimes, that they put this upon her, because the most important thing for me, is that SHE gets a good education. Other people’s children are not my, or her responsiblity. But Siobhan does it without complaining. She makes friends with them, and she does her work beautifully.  She never says a bad word about anyone – except Ollie and Aleeya – and will sit for hours playing with my hair, braiding it and unbraiding it and just pulling her fingers through it or brushing it.  She rubs your feet if you ask her. In fact, you don’t always have to ask, she does it anyway.  She cooks dinner almost once a week and bakes when ever she can.

She’s my hero alright.  She’s just an amazing individual, and she’s mine.

And then, there’s Aleeya. Who is Siobhan’s antithesis, but in the most wonderful way.  Where Siobhan is quiet and understated, Aleeya is vibrant and in your face.  She has a sense of humour that blows my mind. She’s very dry and sarcastic and sometimes it’s a little overwhelming, but she does it with this amazing maturity that is far beyond her 10 years.  Aleeya is  creative and extremely intelligent. She gets bored very easily, and can spell better than anyone I know – including the majority of adults.  Her teachers struggle to keep her busy because she excels at almost everything. She’s very sure about who she is, and what her style is.  I remember when she was two years old, she’d get up and dress herself, beautifully.  Her clothing always matched, she knew what she liked and she wore it.  Siobhan on the other hand, is only now just starting to co-ordinate her clothing without looking like a homeless girl. Aleeya has a very strong sense of self. She doesn’t care what other people think, but she is popular and setting trends already. She refuses to be outdone by Siobhan and is my resident tea maker. She’ll play with the hair and do the feet too, briefly, but the tea making duty is hers. She will race Siobhan to be the first there.

She wants to be an emo/goth. And I cannot deny her this desire.  If I had loads of money, I’d completely revamp her entire wardrobe.  The only thing I am denying her right now, is the pink and black hair.  She loves music and creating stuff and learning. She’s one of those people who just lights up the room with her smile and her laugh.  She also has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.  They’re greenblue, crystal clear and heavily framed with long dark lashes. She is milk and honey, freckles and perfect lips. She’s my hero for several reasons.  She is passionate and emotional, she loves fiercely and she is not afraid to be who she wants to be. Aleeya, will be a force to be reckoned with when she’s an adult.  She will excel at anything because she has the drive and the determination to do it.

My girls are amazing creatures. When things got tough for me recently, I thought about keeping it from them, and realised that if I did that, I wasn’t trusting them to be able to rationalise it.  So I told them. We went for a drive together, and I explained things, and they sat there and asked me questions and listened and once they felt like they fully understood what I was telling them, Siobhan changed the subject back to high school and we continued on as if everything was the same as ever.  They are so completely non-judgemental – although I have had to talk very seriously to Aleeya about certain things in the past.  They are, both of them, extremely accepting girls.  I am truly blessed, and truly amazed that I gave birth to them.  That Ollie and I managed to create children who are as well rounded, well adjusted, intelligent and caring as they are.  Things have not always been easy for them, nor perfect. I do not claim to be a perfect parent at all.  But through everything, they have shone.  And they will always be my heroes, no matter where they end up in life.


It is friday evening, and I have had one of those days that you just totally wish had never happened. I’m fairly sure that I would scare off the secret male readers I have out there. Uncle Derek, I’m looking at you! Yes, that’s right! My mother dutifully tells me you are reading and my father cringes in horror that you might be! So you know, let’s just say, it was totally worth the entire bottle of wine I have consumed all by myself.

You definitely should be reading Aleeya’s blog. And if you’re not, shame on you! She is very talented and totally has a knack for her mother’s sense of humour. Alright, and her grandfather’s. I must admit, this is why she and I butt heads so often, she is so like me that I find it completely frightening. Also, it’s hard to type, but I am forcing myself, and I’ll tell you why.

Rachel and the Rabbit have ABANDONED me! Can you believe it? Just because I am a day ahead of them, they think that it is okay to go to bed and ignore the fact that I have had a day totally worth forgettting about just so they can sleep while it is 1.30 and 2.30am respectively for them – or something…I mean, the NERVE, right?

Today I did more talking and gossiping with workmates than I did real work, and I love that. It’s just unfortunate that no one shares my inability for a good work ethic. I said to my boss today (Ollie is sick you see, so he has been home, pretending to rest but really spending too much time on MY COMPUTER even though he has his own) “I’m not in the mood for working, It’s not a day for working, let’s do something fun!” To which she replied “I”m going out for lunch!” And to which I was just slightly mortified. I mean, I was invited after all..but the truth of the matter is, I don’t know the lovely little pregnant girl who was leaving…and as much as I like a good lunch out, I could not justify my presence there. I just couldn’t! But oh my god, you should see how beautifully pregnant she was.  Every time she turned the corner and I was face to face with her it was really hard not to squee and touch that delicious belly of hers. She was my height and almost as wide as she was high. It was STUNNING! I will miss seeing her loveliness walking around the office looking like she is about to burst.

So I did not reply the email which was given to me second hand by the sweet half Malaysian girl who works in the accounting section I work at *dies for just a moment, because did you people here that? ME? working in accounting anything? I don’t do numbers..for 13 years every time Ollie looked like he was about to talk numbers at me, my eyes would glaze and I would tune out* when she asked me to go.

“You had so much fun at the last one, I thought you should come to this one too.” She said and I just fell in love with her a little bit at that comment. And today, she said to me “he’s 48” in reference to her husband, and I just fell in love with her a little bit more. Because 48???? She looks younger than me! Oh alright, it’s inexplicable the 48 year old partner thing, and that’s what I love the most. (Ollie was asked for ID today when we stopped at the supermarket for my wine. The strange little not all there lady kept giving us shifty eyes. That’s right, US! Not just him but me too! YUS! I am young again!!!) She ate yoghurt, and we all ate hot pastries and chocolate fudge and it was BLISS! So, yes. I remained in the office and made up for the half hour I was late, by writing a response to the vulgar person I am currently sharing a storytelling line with, and Don’t tell.

I had a real reason for this post I really did. But I’ve completely forgotten what is right now, and typing, my darlings, is getting much harder, so it is probably a good time to sign off.

Thanks for reading. Do I say that often enough? I mean it.
Now go read Aleeya…because she is hilarious beyond words. Oh and while you’re at it, Siobhan too, because she wants to be read as well now that she knows people actually take notice!

Why You Little….!!!

I never did get around to talking about my children after the parent teacher interviews, did I? HOPELESS! That’s what I am. Anyway, I’ll talk about them now.

My kids are clever. I know, I know, every mother says this about her children right?  I’m sure mothers with really stupid children say this about their children too, even stupid children are clever at something, after all.  But my children really are.  It’s so intensely exciting and frightening to hear their teachers croon about their wonderfulness, I’m never actually surprised to be honest, they say the same thing every year, but still, you can never hear it enough.  Aleeya has the tendency to get into trouble when she isn’t being pushed, I know when she has enough to think about at school, because she is well behaved at home, she needs pushing, she needs to be stimulated and kept thinking.  If she’s not, she gets naughty. She’ll do sneaky things and just really freaking annoy crap out of me.

Anyway, her teacher is a new teacher, it’s her first year and this always worries me, because I trained as a teacher, and I know HOW AWFUL WE ARE in our first year.  She just doesn’t quite ‘get’ Aleeya.  And I know this, because Aleeya is awful this year, whereas last year, when she had her first male teacher, a rather young and delightful man whom she loved to death, she was an angel. Anyway, the teacher is getting better, and Aleeya is doing better.  Her report was glowing, she’s in the top 5% of kids in NZ when it comes to her literacy.  She’s 9 years old and her spelling age is 14.  Her reading age is around the same.  She’s reading The Lord of the Rings at the moment, although, to be honest, I’m not sure she’s truly enjoying it.  Her teacher told her it was boring and not to read it.  Can you believe that? OMG.  I was horrified, who says that?  Also, Aleeya is FINALLY being allowed to choose her own spelling words.  You should have seen her rolling her eyes at the list the teacher was giving her. I put my foot down at the parent teacher meeting, and now she’s allowed to choose her own words.  She goes through the dictionary to choose them.  She chose the word nymph.  Her teacher told her that isn’t a very nice word for a young lady to be learning.

I’m..literally, gobsmacked.  Nymph, internet?  Nymph???  So, it’s a Catholic school and we were like “maybe it’s because it’s a magical creature?”  But I have to wonder if the teacher is confusing it with a similiar word which begins with nymph and ends in omania.  And if that’s what’s teaching my children, I am quite frankly, appalled.

So anyway, a few months back she comes home with this consent form for a range of tests.  “Can I do the spelling exam?” She asks me and I think, sure! Why not?  And off she goes to do it.  I think I may have told you about the exam before, she came home that day all flustered and asking me if the word was spelled this way or that way, and I said that way, and she was really disappointed in herself for having gotten it wrong.  She finally got her results today.  She was given a certificate of distinction, given out to the kids who are in the top 2% throughout Australasia. Not just NZ, not just Australia and NZ, but the entire Pacific – Singapore, the Islands..all over.  She’s very blasé about it internet.  “Look mummy, I got this certificate today at assembly and it’s distinction, that means I’m in the top 2%.” She said and ran off with her BFF to play as if these things happen every day of your life.

Siobhan’s parent teacher interview went very much the same way.  She had just got a new teacher that semester, we’d met her original teacher, and now we were meeting the new one.  This teacher was brilliant.  Her son is in the class too, so she is really invested in the kids education..not just her son’s, but all the kids.  We get in there and she sits us down and says “Do you realise that you have a potential genius on your hands?”  And we are finally taken aback.  Of course, everyone thinks their children are genius’ but to have it said to you by their teacher is really something else.  She was blown away with Siobhan’s literacy skills.  She is in the top 1% of kids throughout NZ for her knowledge, understanding and comprehension skills.  She picks up languages like no ones business.  Siobhan is all about words.  She loves to read and talk.  She can speak a little Korean..which she can also write, they’re learning German in school right now, her nana gives her her Gaelic notes and she speaks this too, and she also knows a little Japanese.  If it’s written down and/or spoken, Siobhan has it nailed.  Numbers are their weak point, but they’re both learning and trying really hard.

I’m so proud of those kids. We’ve never really been pushy, we’ve never forced them to do anything, not even their homework, we have always made sure they are independent and responsible for their own actions.

Tomorrow night, we’re taking them to the Opera/ballet.  How upper middle class are we?  Actually, the tickets were free, one of Ollie’s workmates gets them for us whenever he can, because his work supports a lot of the Operatics that come here.  And we don’t often do anything unless it’s free because..I MARRIED AN ACCOUNTANT!!