Category Archives: nanowrimo

onoez! no writing!

That’s because I am being slack with my nano novel and keep having to catch up again. I’m 5k off! Well, by the end of today I will be. I have 777 words to write before I will be 5k off! Of course, there are only three days left, so I really need to behave and stay on top of things now. Anyway, I haven’t got anything particularly interesting to say, so here! Here’s my prologue! Please be gentle, it’s very rough. Also, I am aware that a few of you have read this already. Sorreh!

Actually, no I’m not. ha! Suck it up!

Rajasthan. 234 B.C

Lakshmi knelt beside the body of her husband. She was 13 years old, and he had been 40. Terror seized her heart, she knew well what was expected of her. The practice of Sati was prevalent in her city and there was no doubt in her family, or her husband’s family that Lakshmi would burn upon her husband’s pyre. They had only been married for a few months when he had become ill and died, and his family blamed her. He had been strong and healthy, and had outlived two wives before her. How he had died was a mystery to everyone, but not to Lakshmi, she knew what had happened. She had been a dutiful wife, even though she had not loved him in the slightest. She was only 12 when her family married her off.

A month ago, she had turned 13 and still had not managed to grow pregnant. She tended her husband’s many other children, some very close in age to herself, as if they were her own. She had never complained, never admitted how much she loathed her husband. But Lakshmi had prayed for his death. She had given libations of milk and honey to the Lord Shiva in hopes that he would answer her prayers. This is why she felt such deep terror. Her husband was dead. She had prayed for it, and Lord Shiva had answered her call.

Lakshmi had not truly believed he would. Lord Shiva heard the prayers of all the people in the world, why would he make hers come true? She looked at the body of her husband, her eyes wide and fearful. She knew what this meant, what she would be expected to do as a dutiful wife. But she did not want to follow this man, this old man that she did not love, into the next world. Lakshmi would rather run away. She would rather be an outcast, a woman that no one would come to. Perhaps she could go and join the Sadhvis in another town. Surely, there must be a way to live. Soon, their families would come and the funeral rites would begin.

Time was running out, and Lakshmi had to move fast. She rose from the side of her husband, and left their hut. His children were with their grandparents, it was Lakshmi’s time to grieve. To prepare, to cleanse herself and be ready to burn in Sati as his side. That would not happen. Not to her. Lakshmi left. She fled, barefoot with nothing but the sari she wore. For days she walked, head down, away from the villages that she had once known. Closer, and closer to the burning grounds outside the village where the Sannyasis dwelt. Ascetics who had renounced all. Who lived in the burial grounds and partook of dead flesh.

It would take her many more days before she could find the women that may take her in, give her a new life and save her from the burning pyre of her husband’s body. Lakshmi had witnessed Sati before. The women screamed and screamed and begged to be released. Held down with ropes so that they could not escape the consuming flames, or kept in place by men who thrust poles into them every time they tried to flee. It was not a wonderful religious experience. No one would suffer if the Gods truly believed in the ritual of Sati. Would they? Perhaps it was her punishment. Perhaps she should go back and let them do that to her, after all, if she had not prayed, her husband might still be alive today. Lakshmi was lost in thought and did not hear her brothers in law as they came upon her walking close to the burning grounds just outside her village. They caught her easily, she was weak, and tired and as they pushed her to the ground and began to kick her, she started to cry.

“Please! Please! I just want to live!” But the men were brutal, they kicked her prone form until she stopped crying and passed out in the pain. When she awoke, she was in the middle of the burial grounds. Her brothers in law were seated with a Sannyasi. A man who wore nothing but the white ashes of the dead. Her eyes were puffy and it hurt to look out of them, she tried to move but everything ached. The look in their eyes was cold, hateful. Lakshmi had no idea why they had not just continued to beat her to death, and then she realised the Sannyasi was speaking.

His words were low and his eyes had rolled back in his head. She could not understand what he was saying. Terror pulled at her lower belly and she soiled herself. Humiliation tore through her and at last, the chanting was over. Everything was silent, before the Sannyasi pointed his bony finger at her and said “Virvrika!” His eyes white and as dead as her husband’s. Lakshmi screamed, her throat was on fire and her body convulsed, everything hurt but she could not stop the convulsions that tore through her body.

When at last she was still, her brothers in law left her, but the Sannyasi stayed. For three days and three nights, she lay amongst the charred remains of the dead, blind and deaf to the world, in a pain that left her throat seared with her own screaming, and then it was gone. No more pain, no more screams.

Lakshmi opened her eyes…

Hi friends!

Welcome back! I know I’ve been terrible. Nothing at all has been happening in my world for so long that I had no exciting tales to tell you. But I’m back! And I promise I’m going to write once more.

I decided that it was time to give my blog a freshening up, so I’ve moved to a new site, changed to a clean look, renamed it and I’m going to write with a sort of theme. A writing theme! Which, if I’m completely honest with you, means I’ll be talking about anything and everything in the hopes that I’ll gain you all back again, and maybe make some new readers! For now, I just wanted to let you know I’m back! That I missed you all, and that I’ll be sticking with this one. Because I have a couple of books on the go, and I plan to get them both finished and published and I have to attract readers somehow, right?

Both these novels are NaNoWriMo efforts. My last year’s book which I still have not finished, and my this year’s novel. It is awesome already! Anyway, one day you’ll be able to buy them and read them both, and then you can come here and reminisce with me over how difficult it was, and how well worth it it all was and praise me for my awesomeness!

Til the next time!

Ah ha!

You thought I missed a day and gave up on my blogging after only two days, didn’t you? Admit it. You know you did.

I haven’t. But! I really didn’t have a lot to say today. I did terribly boring things, like grocery shopping and dancing around my house, since, that’s the only place I really get to dance these days. Speaking of dancing, we’ve been watching Glee, which is perhaps the coolest show I’ve seen in a very long time. It makes me happy. And sad. And I laugh sometimes until I cry. I’m still in love with the little gay boy and his practicing the Single Ladies dance in his basement. It stuck. Ollie was hesitant to watch the show at all, and I had to get snappy at him. He loves it just as much as I do. My husband, is a total sucker for musicals and dance movies. Glee is like his number one show, I swear.

He’ll try to tell you its something manly, but you don’t have to believe him anymore, since I already told you what it truly is. So we watched that awhile ago, and it must have come on iTunes the other night, because, the next thing I know, Ollie is out on the balcony, Single Ladying. It really helped that Justin Timberlake also did it on Saturday Night Live that time. And so naturally, I had to join in. I was whipping his butt, right up until I tossed my head, and that’s when it all went downhill. I pulled something! It hurt for two days. TWO DAYS! The Single Ladies dance? It’s a killer. Siobhan was thoroughly impressed however. And I imagine our neighbours were too. Luckily it was light enough that we weren’t in the security light spotlight, because losing while you’re on the spot like that?  Would have been completely embarrassing.

I’ve just hit 42k on my novel, and I think that means it’s time for bed!

Nobody’s Fault But Mine

Hi internet!

I’ve been absent again. I’m not sure what to tell you about that. Things are going pretty well, I’m just completely riddled with writer’s block. Or maybe it’s internet block. I have slowly but surely begun to clean out almost everything that interested me online, and now no longer does. This means, fortunately or unfortunately – depending on where you’re sitting I suppose, that I’m finished with the internet in very little time at all. I just don’t have the desire to be online. It could be, because the sun is finally coming out, and while it is still extremely cool out there, the sun is hard to resist.

I’m doing a lot of reading, a lot of going out with family and friends, a lot of thinking. It’s really nice, but it’s not helping me figure out what to say when I get back here. The good thing is, I have a book in the works.  I know…it’s a miracle right? I think that’s what it is. I’m torn up with thinking about characters, and plot and how to fit it all together.  I’m getting very close to having something that I think will be pretty cool.  But it takes up my time. It eats into my creativity and I just don’t really feel like doing anything else, except playing cheesy facebook games, and conversing with friends. This has limited me somewhat.  It’s caused a few fights and a few sore ego’s…but in the end, it always comes out on top. Friendship lasts. Sometimes we forget that I think.  I hate fighting. I really do.

So I’m researching right now, and I’m very caught up in my own head. I’m neglecting other things, but it’s for my own good. This is what I want to do, and if I’m going to do it, then I’m going to do it right. I have a few other work related things on my mind. So I’m very occupied with thoughts and worries and concerns, and needs. It makes me a bad friend, turns me very insular, and withdrawn from other things. But it’s not for any other reason than that, I need to start contributing somehow. I’m still not sure how to ‘sell’ a book.  What to do with it once it’s written.  Not that I’m near the writing stage just yet. I thought I’d write my first 50,000 in November for NaNoWriMo, and spend the time leading up to there, fleshing out my ideas, giving my characters a world and learning some background history so that I can make it a little more realistic.  I’m excited, I really am.  It’s coming together in my head, very nicely.  The problem is, it’s when I get into bed and away from everything else, that I really start getting my ideas.

To be fair, we’ve been watching a lot of movies with the kids, and without them.  It’s nice and mind numbing, and I’ve really needed that too.  There’s so much going on in my head, it’s hard to concentrate for long, on any one thing. But I’m making slow progress.  And I’m really starting to get excited about it. I’m having to give up a lot of my free time, and step into lesser roles online, but I really don’t mind so much. I like not roleplaying every day, I like having my days to myself, I like where things are going in my head.  So that’s where I am internet!  I miss those of you I don’t get to see or hear from as often though, and I keep saying it, but I will continue to blog. And maybe now that I have a book in my head, I will have something to tell you about.  Although, I’m sort of hesitant, to tell you much.  I’ll share pieces. You can tell me if it’s any good.

Much love, always.

I Did It!!

I did!!  I really did, and it was hard, but good, and I’m terribly pleased with myself.  50,049 words in probably, umm…12 DAYS OH MY GOD! Renewed sense of pride right there!!!!

Nano kept a score for me. In the last 10 days I was averaging around 5000 a day. That’s a pretty good effort I think.  It’s far from being finished, obviously, and I think there will be loads of reworking before it is anywhere near good enough for anything.  But I did it!  And now, I am completely taking a break from it for a while, a short while, I promise.

Because right now, I am sick of looking at it!!!!


The writing is going. It really is. I don’t know how good it is, I’m not reading it before I continue, I figure, that just takes up more time right?  I just wrote 2054 words in an hour, which I could probably improve on I think. Anyway, it’s getting up to the big crucial part of the story already, and it’s only 7000 words long.  What the hell will I talk about, for the next 43000 words??  God, this writing thing is harder than it seems.

I forsee much editing and backwriting, in my future.

Do you want to read some of it?  It’s not very happy, that much I can tell you.  It’s called, Ella Sometimes and it’s kind of, tragic actually.  Anyway, here is an excerpt:

Sam is working, as always, his hair is just as greasy, and he’s just as short and fat as ever. She hands over her money and he smiles “big night planned Ella?” She’s fourteen, but in here, she’s treated like everyone else. Sam will talk to the girls like they’re adults, it keeps them coming back and when they come back, they spend their money. “Not really, we’re just meeting Aaron and Nathan and that later” She replies casually, she doesn’t even mention Aidan. People didn’t really like him. She’d been told to stay away from him, that’s probably why she hadn’t. Always the anarchist.

Sam smiles at her and she turns away. He knows what she’s up to. He has watched these kids come in here for decades now. It’s always the same, they always end up drugged out of their brains, pissed as newts and crying over something that some boy had done to them. The only thing that is different these days, is that the girls are getting younger, and younger. He’s worried about Ella. He knows she’s seeing Aidan. He’s never been good; his reputation precedes him, that’s for sure. Everyone knows about Aidan. How he got hooked up with a sweet girl like Ella, Sam will never know. He doesn’t understand her, that’s for sure. No one does. Ella’s used to being misunderstood. She revels in the fact that people don’t really get her. It makes her, mysterious, doesn’t it? Yes, it makes her different and unique. Yeah, she’s certainly unique, there’s just no one quite like her.

Ella heads back to Glory and Hannah, she’ll put a dollar in the machine, which gives them five songs. They all choose a song, and then bicker back and forth on the last two. They’ll settle for them eventually, hard rock, love ballads. They’ll slump to the floor in front of the jukebox, watch everyone coming in and sing along to the lyrics. With their backs against the machine, it’s almost like being at a concert, almost. The music filters through them, thudding through their bodies and it’s good. It’s, comforting. It’s something that they’re completely used to, this constant noise. There is never quiet in these girls lives, they’re always talking, or listening to music, or watching tv, anything to make life feel not so, real. Life for them is all about what’s inside their heads. It’s not real; it’s what they want it to be, and nothing like it really is. They’re living in a fantasy world, where people are good, and no matter what you do, you’ll never be hurt. They’re invincible, after all…

I Started.

I really did! I started my novel. I think, it will probably turn into a very short novel, but it’s a start, and who knows. Perhaps there will be room to flesh it out.  According to my lovely little word counter, I have achieved 2% of the words I’m supposed to write.  That’s pretty good right?  Actually, it’s crap. But it’s a start, and you have to start somewhere.

I don’t have a lot to tell you about today. I wrote way more than 2% during my day of roleplaying.  Yes, yes, procrastination much?  It’s so good though. It really is.  It’s extremely good practice.  I’ll get there yet. My fingers are very used to typing now, and I can almost do it without even thinking about what I’m doing.  It unnerves the children when I am looking right at them and typing.  Aleeya said to me yesterday “can you like, stand here where I am right now and just type without even looking?” I think, if I’d said yes, she would have called me her idol. Unfortunately, I am not quite that talented.

Today, the lady who is in charge of all the website changes came around to see how we’ve done.  I tell you now, that this has been cause for much alarm for Oliver and I. We are both, masters at the procrastination you see.  I was completely drawing a blank and he was refusing to be of any help. We had no images, and therefore, nothing for -me- to do.  I finally worked it into his head, that he needed to draft up a site so we could throw it together loosely and have something to show her.  We worked on a design, which is nothing like what she’d suggested or shown us, and the colours are bland right now, because I didn’t want us to get too into it, and have her go “um. I HATE IT!”  So we left it light coloured, whites and stuff, with a temporary image just so she got the feel for it.  I have been fretting all day and threw myself head first into roleplaying so that I did not have to think about it.

She came over and we showed her, and she really liked it.  It was so good, like so wonderfully good to know that we have something now to work with AND a load of images as well, so I can actually start to put together the graphics and we can try to figure out the right colour scheme for it.  I’m so, so glad she liked it.  I told her that we should be able to mesh it together and send her the url to look at in a few weeks time. She was excited.  She said “when will it be ready?  Say, January?” And I tell you, we almost quivered and died. January? That’s still two months away. She said, it would be nice to have it up and running when the new year classes begin, around Jan 31.  Oh, the bliss. BLISS!  Not that, I plan on procrastinating of course.  *sideways glance*  But it does mean that I can still write. And you know, I will hit 50,000 words if it kills me.  It’s the start that is the most difficult right?  Well, I have overcome that. I wrote, 1251 words in less than half an hour.

Don’t tell my dad.  He gets awfully grumpy at me when I say things like that.

Like Right Now!

Yes! The third of November! Amazing! I don’t have a lot to say, that’s the biggest problem with blogging every single day, isn’t it? You have to be amazing and witty every single day! And truly, I’m just not quite that clever.

Today though, I thought I’d tell you that, along with embarking on NaBloPoMo, I am totally going to do the NanoWriMo – The National Novel Writing Month. Apparently, you have the whole month to write 50,000 words. That’s a lot of words right? But I’ve thought about it, and it works out to be around 1700 words a day. Man, some of my blog posts are that long. I really think I can do it. And, if my brain manages to continue to do it, it may just turn into the novel I have long promised so many of you. Of course, it might just turn out to be crap. But that’s the chance you take with something like this isn’t it?

I recently (okay, a few months ago) read Isabelle Allende’s Ines of My Soul, and in the back of it, was an interview she gave. She was talking about how she wrote her novels, and she said, she works from 9am to around 7pm every day just writing in silence. I think that’s a bit extreme personally, but I like the idea of making it a working day. I mean, I write all the time anyway, I’m talking to people online, I’m roleplaying, I’m blogging. Surely I can turn an hour or two into writing for this. Right? Right.

So I’ll do it. I am of course, three days behind, which means I must do some catching up, and there will, obviously, be days when I just cannot face the idea of writing. Though these, I do hope, will be few and far between. Cross your fingers for me! Go on do it. This is a fairly huge venture for me, I am embarking on being entertaining for you, every day this month, AND writing the first 50,000 words of my novel. Are you scared? I’m scared. This is very ambitious. But well overdue.

I shall keep you all informed! Also, I must share with you this snippet from my sister!


Telling everyone I sniff farts!!

It was all because Dad would always blame them on me and his farts were so rotten,, I mean,, how could I do that? So in order to prove it wasn’t me I would run to sniff arse so I could point the finger at the culprit who wasn’t man enough to claim their own stench!

Ahhh hahahahahaa! My family are the coolest!